Transitional practices
The psychodynamic theory, a transitional object is a physical object that connects us to someone we love, when we are separated from them. The psychoanalyst, D.W. Winnicott, first used the term when he wrote about how very young children cope with separation from their mothers.
But transitional objects are not only used by children – they’re a natural part of how we all stay connected while apart, and ease the pain of loss. I wear a ring given to me by someone I love; I carry a stone in my pocket from a place that I love. When someone I loved died, I carried something that belonged to him.
Transitional objects are not always solid objects. They can be shapes, images, colours, textures, sounds, smells…
Often we find transitional objects intuitively, and without thinking about it. Sometimes, we have to do something more intentional to connect. A transitional practice. It can be something very simple…
I’ve been indoors a lot over the last couple of weeks. Yesterday, I stood looking out the window at the clouds, the trees, the muddy earth, the fallen leaves. A blackbird was revelling in a puddle. I realised I was feeling sad, sluggish, and desperate to get outside.
And then I had all these thoughts like ‘It’ll be cold’, ‘I haven’t got time’, ‘I should go and fill in that accreditation form’… and, more subtly, under the surface, ‘It’ll remind me how much I miss all this…’ It was almost a physical struggle.
I opened the door and went out. Straight away, the smell of the air, the sound of the birds, the sensation of the cold on my skin connected me back to what I had been missing – a wider feeling of my self – as part of the rest of nature. The sadness lifted, and my mind cleared.
