Posts tagged with "frustration"

Logic versus Emotion

Suffering from a real sense of frustration as I write this, which I’m not sure is the best state of mind to be writing a blog, but anyway…

I think I’m picking this up elsewhere in other people’s blogs, and maybe this is all “part of the process”, but the frustrations are multi-layered for me at the moment. A list might be in order, as cogent sentences are tricky right now:

1. It this all just a bunch of middle-class, indulgent nonsense? It’s definitely felt like that sometimes - particularly the look on some people’s faces when you try to explain. I’ve certainly failed in trying to explain it to my hairdresser… a story for another blog…

2. How do you move this beyond a small group of individuals who have had incredibly transformative experiences through their personal encounters with nature, to something which makes mass impact? That really was on my mind as I raced along the street in the pouring rain the other day, caught short in my reveries of the rain on the solo day in beautiful Knoydart by the sight of a homeless man, sat outside a shop, resigned as the downpour fell on him. I bet it’s unlikely he finds beauty anywhere, and that makes my heart hurt.

3. Language, language, language - the communications bit is driving me crazy (which I suppose you’d expect from an ex-tabloid hack). Thinking that if I’m going to take my responsibilities to this project seriously, I need to get more informed, I went to an event on climate change. It was completely and absolutely impenetrable. No wonder people retreat to recycled bags and energy-saving lightbulbs, it’s a darn sight easier. I was left feeling stupid (and I’m not, I’m a smart person - not academic - but smart) - by all the language and theories. But when I spoke to someone after it, they were dismissive, vehemently saying that the ubiquitous “Top 10″ recycling tips just aren’t enough to save us. Which left me thinking: “Well, if they aren’t, someone’s going to have to find a new way of making this accessible” - and, as Dave’s recent post http://www.naturalchange.org.uk/dave-key/dont-despair/  points out, making people feel like the end of the world is nigh ‘aint gonna cut it.

4. Lastly to the title of this post - logic versus emotion. This is how it feels - the logical arguements overwhelming the emotion. I still feel the experience of that first weekend so strongly -I’ve not lost it, despite the “blankets” of daily life - but it does feel, if not diminished, then not powerful enough, on it’s own, to change things. And yet…what the people who have responded to these blogs have shown, it is the emotional side of things which touches them, which moves them: comments on personal testimony, on pictures, on poetry, are clear enough signs of that. Is that the path to natural change? But how does that sit with the arguements over scale of response?

I’m drifting into territory I don’t yet know how to express. There is no neat conclusion to this blog for me - just a jumble of questions - but maybe you have some thoughts you want to share?

Posted: November 1, 2008 | Author: Louise Macdonald | Comments: 5 

Deepest darkest secrets

So How do you explain dancing at the top of a mountain, laughing uncontrollably, roaring with anger and frustration?

I don’t know if you can - it’s something that just happens. I thought I was mad. I thought I was experiencing some sort of breakdown. Come to think of it I probably was. I was going through the breakdown of emotional and psychological effects of being all by myself all the way up a mountain. The rain and the wind together making up my worst weather kind was the first half of the day. It was torrential and it was fierce. There was no shelter! There was no where to hide and there was no sign of it stopping. I was cold I was freezing and I couldn’t do anything about it. How do you know when you have hyperthermia? Despite all this I was determined. Determined to complete this challenge. I begged and I prayed for the sun to come out and guess what just like magic after som time of getting cold, wet and soggy it did!…

That is a small summary of what I have felt and what I went through on my solo experience and I am still learning from it. I need to find the words and right now I don’t have them.

I’ve just been thinking that I haven’t really mentioned the group much. The people that I have spent the last few days with and the people that I met only a few days ago who I feel as though know so much about me. I have made some really deep connections within the group and I have felt safe sharing some of my deepest darkest secrets with them and they have too. The group dynamic is an interesting one and I keep wondering how did this group form. What was the selection process? How did the organisers choose us as a group? What were they looking for and have we met their expectations?

I am looking forward to getting to know these people more and getting to understand how they see this process and what it brings out in them. The most significant learning process for me has been from the others in the group. Seeing things through their eyes and learning from them, what it is they want to achieve, by being part of this process.

I quickly sought out those to whom I am akinned. The last ones to bed and the last ones up. I have formed friendships with everyone in the group and I am the youngest although that is not important it’s about connection and about feeling comfortable.

Posted: September 30, 2008 | Author: Gurjit Singh | Comments: 3