Louise Macdonald / Guilty Train of Thought

Ok, so I’ve been feeling guilt-stricken.

Guilty because I haven’t blogged for ages. Guilty because I have got totally wrapped up in work, to the exclusion of all else - and I mean ALL else. Guilty because I haven’t been aware of the wilderness, urban or rural, as I pass by. Guilty because it’s my husband who has been remembering to fill the birdfeeder the past few days, not me. Guilty because every time I sit down at my dining room table there’s George Monbiot screaming “Bring on the Apocalypse!” from his book cover. Which makes me feel guilty, because, because…

But…I kind of “woke up” today. And I woke up, because I was tired…

I was tired, so on a trip to Glasgow this morning on the train, instead of doing my usual and burying my head in all the papers I have to read, my folder remained closed, and I drifted off, staring out the window. And I’m so glad I did - it was just so beautiful. The amazing light (”dawn’s rosy fingers” as it is so fabulously described in Greek classics); the frost; the rolling, heavy mist; and the snow on the hills. It isn’t often I find beauty on a Scotrail commuter trip to Glasgow, but this time I did. And it was the natural beauty - this astonishing view flashing past - that touched me so much. It made me feel better and calmer. It made me feel.

That’s it - nothing more profound. One hour in one day (sorry - work guilt kicked in so I did work on the way back), but enough to reconnect me. Enough to wake me up. Enough.