Emma Little / Presents or Presence?

What’s happening to me?!  I don’t want to shop any more. I used to shop for enjoyment and this Christmas was different.  I didn’t go into town once.  When I did go into a shop, rather than feel overwhelmed at all it had to offer, I felt overwhelmed at all the crap.  When I told my friends this they said “but Emma, you love shopping!”

That’s definitely one of things that has changed during this project .  But, if I don’t want more stuff then I don’t have more things, so I need a smaller house to keep them in, so I need less money, so I need to work less…?  This could be a good thing!  An added bonus has been that cos I didn’t spend my holidays endlessly trawling the sales for bargains, I’ve been able to spend my Christmas break properly slowing down and doing what I really want to do.  Going for walks, getting in back in touch with nature – and myself.

My favourite beach

I’m also noticing how much a creature of habit I’ve become.  Rather than tanking it up north to conquer hills in lots of far-flung places, all I want to do is go to my favourite beach again and again.  I notice something different every time – and it feels and looks different every time I go.

Some of it’s definitely rubbed off on my boyfriend – or maybe just wants to keep me happy.  He told me tonight he’s started switching off all the lights at work – something he didn’t even do in the flat before.

But I’ve also wrestled with feelings of anger, confusion and frustration because of my powerlessness to influence change.  It definitely gets me down sometimes.

The best way I can describe the contrast is the difference between driving (how many times have I driven somewhere but not remembered how I got there because my mind is full?) versus cycling (when I have to be present and mindful all the time otherwise I’ll get knocked over).

My scattered thoughts are starting to solidify now and it feels like the right time to be thinking about how the Natural Change approach could influence behaviour change in other areas.

I’ll have presence over presents any day please.