John Daffurn
Professional Officer, East Renfrewshire Council
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John lives in Glasgow’s West End. He began his working life in Abronhill HS, where he was Principal Teacher when he left to go onto Lenzie Academy. After two acting Assistant Head Teacher posts he moved to Mearns Castle HS as Assistant Head Teacher. Seven years later, when Depute Head Teacher, he was seconded for two years to the National CPD Team. He returned to Mearns Castle for a few months before being offered a secondment by the Authority to deliver the Flexible Route to Headship programme. He has been doing this since April 2009. His own professional development has led him to achieve the SQH, a certificate in Counselling Skills and a Diploma in Coaching.
His interests include keeping fit, skiing, travel, food, film and anything French!
I am lying under a tree beside a river in a survival bag and all of a sudden I have the need to write; here is what came:
Change, change, change!
What is it all about?
How? What? Who? Nout!
Let it be natural.
Too busy doing for it
Too busy looking for it
Too busy hiding from it
Let it be natural.
What if I don’t want it?
What if I don’t need it?
What if it is imposed?
Let it be natural.
Don’t always need it
Not always ready for it
Don’t try to hurry it
Let it be natural.
Make sure it is environmental
Make sure it is political
Ticked all the boxes – bollocks to that !
Let it be natural.
Let it be personal
Let it be local
Let it be global
Let it be natural.
So, let it be natural
Be clear of your role in it
Make sure it’ sustainable
Don’t be afraid of it
Simply embrace it
Like birth, like death
Natural change.
I drove to Glen Prosen and it allowed me to get my head into the correct space, I had a very busy couple of weeks in the run up to coming away. How difficult it was to stay in the Knoydart space after my return last time, I wondered if this week would be any different. I was conscious that I kept drifting to Knoydart as I thought of the week ahead remembering what a fantastic experience it was, hoping the second week would be as good.
I was really looking forward to meeting everyone again, we have not been good at keeping in contact or blogging; I wondered what that was all about.
It was thinking that it would be good to experience a different location and I felt better prepared for the vegetarian experience! I knew nothing about Glen Prosen until I looked at the map for directions for the journey, I had no idea where it was. As I drove, I was aware that I was nearly there and there was no sign of any remote setting and then all of a sudden I found myself on a single track road and there was no going back! Phone signal gone, I was delighted, I hoped no one would get a signal, I didn’t want any external unwanted interuptions this week.
As I arrived at the hostel, I was conscious that I was the first to arrive. The empty social area seemed a little less roomy than last time but the bunk rooms seemed a little more spacious. One by one as people arrive it was one warm embrace after another and already the place seemed much warmer, it was as though we saw each other yesterday; how good it felt. Before I knew it I was back in the tipi and it felt good. Checking in made me feel close to the others and I got the feeling that this was going to be a good week; my thoughts of leadership and sustainability were to the fore!
So here I am, more than a week after returning from Knoydart, trying to hold onto something resembling the peace and tranquility of what Knoydart gave me. Realising I didn’t miss emails or the phone, I am reluctant to get back on that old familiar path of doing instead of just being. I am trying to sit that while longer when the ants start appearing in my pants, not easy though! As I look around, I am not liking a lot of what I am seeing. I am longing to be in touch but not making contact, I wonder what that is all about? Do I need more time and space? My morning reflection this morning spoke loudly to me, it read
‘To know what we prefer, instead of humbly saying amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer, is to keep the soul alive’ Robert Louis Stevenson.
My favourite since I came back though is
‘What is life if, full of care, we have no time to stand and stare’ W H Davies
I need to make the time and contact, I think!
This is not the end of something but the start of a new beginning. I am feeling as though I could stay another week despite having had no contact with the outside world since Monday. I can’t believe how well the group have gelled and how we have all mixed and respected each others’ space.
It seems good to be blogging just now after having packed and before I have my last dinner with the group. My head is full and I am aware that it will take while to process what has been happening this week. I started that process today as I shared my walk with someone I knew when I first met them that I would be spending time with; thank you. I have also already identified areas both professionally and personally that will have an immediate impact of me being part of this week.
It was good to feel, at last, connected to Dave, Mags and Jules and see them as the individuals they are as opposed to the facilitators; you have not heard the last of me! Rob has been a star all week too and it was great to share some special conversations with him, he probably doesn’t know how special they were.
From the sounds of the deer blending with the sounds of the birds to the smell of the seaweed on the beach, my solo day saw all of my senses heightened. Sitting alone, not feeling at all lonely, on a beach at 6.30 am in the pitch dark filled me with serenity and somehow seemed to put all of the other parts of my life into perspective. I have had a whole range of emotions and thoughts today, the learning has been enlightening. It seems appropriate to be continuing the rest of the night in silence, though it does seem a little strange to be sitting alongside the others and not talking. I am now very aware of the lack of space and privacy within the old byre; it would be nice to have somewhere more private tonight. Not really too sure what I have had to eat except that it was vegetarian, am I getting to like this? The social area is very hot; I think I will need some fresh air before bedtime.
I am looking forward to being able to speak again tomorrow and sharing experiences with the others. I hope that there will be great learning from it. I wonder how the others are feeling. I am feeling great, it is good to have had something to eat and be in a warm place and in a strange sort of way I feel as though I could do it all again. Today has allowed me the space to be reflective, creative and productive. I think that there are times when if I could sit a little longer in reflection, it would allow a deeper focus on a solution. What will tomorrow bring?
What a glorious day, the clear blues skies showed Knoydart off at its best. It is great to get some quality time to get to know people and myself too! Our lecture around Maslow’s hierarchy has really got me thinking about what we really need and how much we are influenced by media, branding and peer pressure.
In this beautiful peaceful setting, where you can literally hear the leaves fall, it is easy to have ‘thinking time’ and how important it is too; I can hardly believe what has come up for me today. Time to do nothing but think, what a crucial part of life and yet one that I suspect most people don’t afford themselves. I realised a long time ago how short sighted it is not to build in the luxury of time to reflect; why in general do we not do it? Why do we often put it at the bottom of our ‘to do’ list if in fact it is there at all? Are we a nation who doesn’t appreciate the benefits of it as we bury ourselves in consumerism or are we a nation who doesn’t know how to do it? I know, and have seen, the major impact that the process of reflection has both personally and professionally on the colleagues I work with on the Flexible Route to Headship programme. I am however today also aware of the added dimension for me of that reflecting time being done in a very peaceful setting. I wonder how my colleagues would be influenced by an experience like Knoydart, what might it add to the programme?
I am remembering when as a Depute Head Teacher I gave a talk at my year group assembly about the power of reflection and suggested that we had a few minutes to reflect at the assembly. I also remember actually saying to the pupils that they probably thought I was mad, certainly that is what the look on many of their faces was telling me. I wonder if any of them remember that assembly, I wonder if it made any difference. Why don’t I know?
Enough for one night, I can hardly contain myself as time approaches for yet another vegetarian experience!
After a stunning journey by bus to Malaig with clear blue skies allowing me to enjoy the best of Scottish scenery, I boarded a boat to complete my journey to Knoydart. The sun was shinning as I arrived at the pier and the leaders were there to welcome me. I had a feeling that this was going to be a good experience. A gentle 15 minute walk, allowing a glimpse of the beauty I was hopefully going to experience, took me to the place which was going to become home for the week. A very comfortable old byre with a lovely social area, my shared bedroom was a room for four with two bunk beds, was this going to be challenging?
Didn’t take long to settle in and start to chat to people in my new surroundings and build on the bonding that had already taken place on the journey. A short walk to the beach and my second home for the week, the TiPi. What a setting, looking back to where I had left, will I also have left a part of me that will not be able to be reclaimed; will I want to reclaim it anyway?
Dinner gave me my first vegetarian experience of the week and a further chat to get to know my new housemates. I haven’t had dinner at a table with sixteen people for a long time; it was interesting how people engaged so quickly.
A look at the stars, how brightly they shine in the dark sky of the night, was just the perfect final experience of the day before heading off to bed. What a day, I wonder what tomorrow will bring!
As the time to go draws closer and I at last get some time to blog, there is no hiding place. Can I believe that I am actually going? Sharing details of the programme with colleagues and friends has resulted in a whole range of responses, some not suitable for blogging! I am unsure as to what to expect so will just wait and see what develops. It is certainly going to be an experience like no other for me and I am looking forward to getting to know the others and finding out if there is a hidden camera! I am going to enjoy the coming weekend and use it to help prepare by having some quiet times to myself. Will I ever be the same again?
