One of the many things I have enjoyed about this project has been sharing it with people. Some people I know really well and some people who would never have crossed my radar if I had not had this opportunity. I find it really affirming and encouraging when people comment on the blogs on this site but actually the real feed back has been that deeper conversation round the water cooler at work, that email from far flung outposts of our organisation or that ubiquitous cabbie conversation. Colleagues and friends who I see and speak to every day but instead of whingeing about work deadlines or the road works etc they tell me about some of their favourite places, what moves and motivates them. There is a tangible hunger out there for opportunities to talk about what really drives us.
This is an extract from an email I got from Buenos Aires
“Thank you for sharing this. As I sit in my office in Buenos Aires, seeing your images and reading your thoughts on solitude and nature gave me the strength I needed to remember what’s important today….. I, myself, would like to get involved from here and if you have any ideas I would certainly be open to them. “
So what next? This first phase is drawing to a close but its really just the start for the project. The group that I have been a part of is a unique cross sector snapshot of Scotland today. Personally I would very much like to see Natural Change taken into inner city regeneration areas. I am putting out the feelers and waiting to see what builds.
How do you think we can roll this out and effect real change? Have you got ideas of how this project could be incorporated into your professional or personal life. Do you want ot become involved?
The wheels of change are rusty
IF YOU WANT TO MAKE CHANGES:-
It’s really very straight forward.
Go solo
Look wide
Look close
And closer
and closer
Look up
Look down
Watch
Listen
Wait
S T O P
Earth
Water
Air
and fire
Death
Regeneration
Reflections
Looking out
Looking in
Friends
Know your onions!
Let it go
and go your own way
A N D C H A N G E
Most of us already appreciate the wisdom that can be gained from nature but this project has given me permission and also silence to the white noise that has helped me to sift out what matters. It’s pretty subtle. The first solo in Knoydart (read the first blogs if you are interested) the idea of being silent for 36 hours terrified me. This weekend the silence was easy even when I met randoms while I was out on my own. It was easier to hold my own space and not think about what others might be thinking about me.
It’s liberating.
That was the easy bit.
Now
Authenticity, it keeps coming up.
Blog authenticicty, personal authenticity, authenticity of the project. You try blogging about that without feeling pretentious. (that’s a challenge by the way)
This project is a values based research exercise so authenticity is key.
I am thinking about starting a one woman mission to encourage people to be themselves in all situations and try and resist the pressure to conform to what we imagine is expected. Why wear one shirt for one group of friends and another for work? Who do we think we are fooling? No wonder we are all so stressed.
Thing is I really think people prefer us when we are ourselves and not what we think we ought to be. Come on lets inject some life and passion where ever we go. I know that this can go too far if it ends up stopping other people from being themselves but with a bit of humility we can pull back when we either realise or its pointed out to us to button it?
It brings out the rebel in me some of this project. Don’t try and pigeon hole me whoever you are out there. But am I the one that is perpetuating this myth?
This is going around in circles.
Go on, be loud, be proud.
Oh hell, here I go again. So where does the humility, peace and tranquility come in? More spirals.
We were warned. The long gap. It is long innit? Long gap from the Natural Change Project and my new friends that is.
Meanwhile -
The rush towards Christmas is really rather surreal. Yes, materialist but I love looking and trying to think what my 12 year old nephew might like (between £5-10 I’m hoping) I haven’t seen him for a few months and I’m easily confused. Please, let me know if you’ve got any ideas. I hate shopping.
Work deadlines are thick and fast and I’m not as engaged as I should be. Nursery and pre-school nativity plays, parties and all the rest. Doesn’t really fit with the working day. This time of year is always really busy in my line of work. Frantic end of year spend, ridiculous deadlines.
Today I decided that being there to watch my daughter recieve a present from Father Christmas was more important than supporting colleagues at work under a lot of pressure. I was right and I will make up the hours but I still felt torn. My colleagues were commendably supportive.
But where is the logic?
Leading on from Emma’s blog - A different starting point -
What on earth is going on with our mental health? Is it just me or is there really an epidemic going on out there? Its called mental well being but from what I’ve seen its most definitely physical in its manifestation. Is it work stress? thinking we should be able to do it all? lack of time and kindness to deal with lifes traumas? our childhoods? grief? the speed and pressures of modern life? Striving for the unattainable or even undesirable? Lackof touch with or relevance to our values?
How do we manage to drop the stress and focus on living in the present rather than worrying about the past/future?
Its definitely happening and its such a long road to recovery once the synapses have burnt that path, so how do we stop it happening in the first place and failing that how do we help people through it?
Too much talking and not enough action?
or
Too much action and not enough time?
or
what?
Sorry this post is out of sync but I am enjoying looking back at it. Nearly two weeks ago.
layers
River Tilt . Imagine the resilience of the big rock in the middle
- articulation
- my spot of luxury
Lush
reflections
Contradictions or signs of a working landscape?
- Contrasts of Pine against the snowy mountains
Rapids - NEVER STOPPING, ITS TIME FOR ACTION
How did we get here? When did it all go so wrong? I like to think of myself as a realistic idealist. I generally believe in the mess up theory of life not the conspiracy theory. There has been lots of talk during this project about priviedge. I’m concerned with social injustice as well as environmental injustice and as a landscape architect I think the two things are inexorably linked. I went from a fabulous weekend of being wonderfully nutured both physically and mentally within a stunning peaceful and safe environment back into my real life where I feel so much more vulnerable.
For work this week I was standing on street corners accosting the public about how they felt about where they live. This was in an area that is considered to be in the worst 5% of the social deprivation index in Scotland. Its humbling when a 6 year tells you how bad his area is. The state of the housing here was quite frankly a disgrace made all the more shameful by being literally a stone’s throw from a much lauded “regeneration” area. I liked and respected everyone I spoke to. I got no feelings of self pity just factual realism. People, even young children, were very much aware that the state of their environment wouldn’t be considered acceptable in the neighbouring affluent areas. Some people said don’t bother round here its waste of time and money - this was often said with an apologetic but resigned shrug - whilst others were much more positive. I was in awe of this optimism in the face of adversity. The themes I was hearing were consistent. Their children felt excluded and mistrusted and there was no where safe for them to hang out and nothing for them to do. I wasn’t hearing the kids around here are awful. The kids need somewhere safe to play football, the toddlers need somewhere safe to express themselves, the grown ups wanted somewhere attractive to sit, have barbeques with their neighbours, some people wanted areas for food growing. Simple and modest desires.
But how to turn around decades of neglect and low expectations? This is where the spiral comes in for me. At what point does it become a downward spiral and at what point and how can we enable people to turn this round and make it an upward spiral? Can a little bit of wilderness amongst this social deprivation make a difference or will it be seen as yet more neglect in an urban wasteland? If we move in to help clear up the area and keep at it will pride and a sense of empowerment be able to return or will the negatives keep winning over? Where would I sit if I lived here?
from this…..
to this………
Its not fair and its not acceptable
A simple question but how often do we give ourselves the time to properly look and ask?
I can see stunning colours and contrasts; beeches and birch trees standing out against the deep green of the Scots Pine; bright oranges and yellows, deep russets, luminous and translucent greens, grey, browns and blacks. I can see the trees and the ground all covered with a rich carpet of mosses and trees covered in lichens.
I can see a deer fence along the line of an ancient moss covered dyke. I can see and hear the River Tilt thundering down the gorge with rivulets jumping up above the waterfall. I can see two grey Atholl ponies, I can see the rain drops falling off the trees. I can see up through the black branches of the middle aged beech tree I’m sitting under and I can see glimpses of the white sky beyond. I can see thriving life and I can see decay. The mountain looms behind my back but I’m not looking that way.
What does it mean to me? Not so easy to answer. I ‘m thinking about how the woodland I am sitting in appears to be a harmonious community; each tree has found its roots and found its space among its neighbours to grow towards the light yet acting together to form the mutual shelter they need. The rich colours of the different species seemingly so complementary. Then I think about the Scots Pine and birch being Scottish Natives but they look so spectacular against the backdrop of the non Scottish native beech trees. I’m that English beech, naturalised but not native.
I’m very fond of beech trees. We had two magnificent beech trees in the garden where I grew up. Standing between them as a child I could touch both trunks, one was a copper beech and one a green. I thought of them as my wishing trees. The contrast of colours through the seasons was stunning. That makes me think about family and belonging and how if nature can adapt to change then why can’t we? That leads to talking about work life balance or the lack of it. And so the cycle goes on.
Its only 6 weeks since we all became friends in Knoydart but it feels like so much longer. Such a close bond formed in a long weekend. Then we have all been rushing around madly in our real lives and now here we are back together again. We all headed to Glen Tilt from across Scotland meeting up as we got nearer. Getting more and more excited until we were all on the train together at Perth and then into the mini-bus at Pitlochry. The autumn colours dominating the landscape more and more as we neared our destination. Even the driver was so keen to share the beauty with us he managed to drive into a ditch whilst pointing out a waterfall.
I’m quite anxious as well as excited though. This time together is so out of the norm of rushing around, deadlines, targets, outputs, relationships, responsibilities. It is such a privilege to have been given permission to slow down and reflect but it’s a big mental shift.
A simple question when we all meet- how have you all been since Knoydart? I feel overwhelmed
So, it’s out with the big pad of paper and the coloured pens. People want to know what we are hoping to achieve, are we going to make a difference? How then? It so lucky to have freedom and licence to explore and express our passions. All those conversations, you longed for. Strong themes of commonality emerge for the problems of social and environmental injustice but can such a “self-indulgent” process as this go any way to improving anything? Trauma keeps coming up, trauma that needs to be acknowledged before progress can be made. There is a feeling of real change in the group, some more dramatic than others, often subtle but it’s mostly about self. It’s a good place to start.
